I Want to Define You

Define. The word the world is desperately trying to erase. We feel confined. Trapped by an opinion lurking in someone else’s mind. Or maybe it’s your own. Locked in by the judgements you have made of yourself. Whether you have great expectations of a future yet to be had, or believe you will never be able to dig yourself out of the pit of despair you created, you have defined yourself in some way or another. You locked the door and threw away the key. You trapped yourself by a definition you made of your name. Presumptions from others became your own, and you became angry. Angry at the world; angry at yourself for letting anything define you. Everyone is screaming into your ear that being defined will ruin your life. No happiness can be found in a mind poisoned by the thoughts of others. Letting concerns of the world leak into your mind will destroy any chance at having a moment of pure bliss. Judgements of the world weighing down on your every move; it seems like too much. Far too much for any one person to handle. But what if we redefined how we think of “being defined”. What if instead of letting someone’s opinion poison our every thought, keeping us up at night, we used it for good. To better ourselves and the world. Now let’s just make this clear, I’m not trying to tell you to let people walk all over you. I’m not telling you to put up with a cruel world that seems that is has turned against you. But I’m also not telling you to completely block off someone’s opinion if you don’t agree with it, or even if it is 100 % untrue.

Everyone you have ever known has formed an opinion around you by what you show them, or what you don’t, and for the most part all of those people could tell you a list about what they dislike about you. But this doesn’t necessarily have to be a terrible thing. A girl, told she will never make it past high school, uses the negative definitions of herself  to push through,  graduating and later going on to a higher education. A boy surrounded by the foul words of others, telling him he’ll never make friends unless he is crude and malicious. Instead of falling into their trap, he makes a new definition of what he is supposed to be. He is kind and caring, without the fear of an old outdated definition. A woman who is told she is too old to start anew, creates her dream company always keeping those thoughts that once held her back in mind. Her new found love of life is built off of the opinions that once held her so far down. If we were not so afraid of judgements, who knows what we could accomplish. Knowing how to deal with unwanted opinions can only make us stronger.

Instead of  telling someone to “not let anyone define them” and unleashing them into a imperfect world where we know judgements are impossible to avoid, let’s teach them. Be with them through the pain and frustration of not being liked by everyone. Help them through the process of learning you do not have to please others to survive. Challenge them to face those judgements head on, instead of avoiding them in every way possible. Instead of letting people’s words and opinions hold us down until we drown, let’s use them for good. Use them to push yourself above. Above those who have never been challenged. Above those who are too afraid to listen and fight back. Above those who would rather stomp on someone else’s life than build their own up. So I leave you with this, Do not be afraid of being defined by those who do not know, or even those who know you well. Know that you really can help change the world through helping our generation find a better way of spreading our opinions instead of hiding behind a computer screen attacking everything and anyone we dislike. Do not spread hatred, but also know you are not a terrible human being if a judgement of another passes through your mind. Judgements are apart of human nature, whether you are an optimist or pessimist there are bound to be things you disagree with. We shouldn’t be afraid of speaking our mind, but we should learn how to do it in a way that allows us to still always treat others with respect and compassion. “Anyone can find the dirt in someone, be the one that finds the gold”(Proverbs 11:27). Religious views set aside, think of this as an esteemed proverb if you will. A work of art written by a man who is considered by many to be the smartest man to ever live. A man who made so many mistakes it would take a book to fill up, but he tried greatly to learn from them, even though he sometimes failed. Learn to accept your judgements, or even learn to love them and maybe the world will join you.

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6 thoughts on “I Want to Define You

  1. Hi, I’m currently reviewing your blog LIVE via livestream on YouTube! Check out this blog post
    https://projectbiy.com/2017/05/30/wp-community-pool-blog-review-5-live-stream/?frame-nonce=af41cdd568
    for the link to the stream and feel free to chat with everyone in the chatroom or perhaps even review my blog for me too 😃

    Hope to see you there bud!

    Your pal,
    Benjamin
    http://www.projectbiy.com
    http://www.prometheustechnologies.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Benjamin! Thank you for your time and feedback it means so much! I agreed with a lot of what you had to say and I’m definitely going to add a paragraph or two to address what you said about my Why kids hate English piece because I actually agreed with what you had to say. Also I updated my “I Want to Define You” piece and would love if you would take a look at it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey Abby!

        Happy to have been of help!
        I’m glad that you’ve gained something from what I had to say and hey, remember, I’m not saying you are wrong and I do agree with you.

        It’s just that we will surely get new challenges to face if we went in with the other route and whether or not it’s better for everyone when we weigh out the pros and cons of both system?

        That would be up to researchers to find out and debate teams to go bananas at each other hah!

        You’re sharing your thoughts and they are reasonable. You have a vision for yourself and the world, that is amazing. Not everyone can say that they’ve got them so be proud that you do.

        I will read the other article in a bit 😉
        Stay chirpy!

        Your pal,
        Benjamin
        http://www.projectbiy.com
        http://www.prometheustechnologies.wordpress.com

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Didn’t realize I was responding to the comment at this article earlier hah!

    Anywho, great piece here. You’re definitely someone who has deep thoughts and I’m glad you found blogging because it is definitely a good outlet and, of course, a place to hone your crafts (Be it creative writing or just plain, well, writing lol).

    Truth is, every behavior has it’s own origin and motivation. You know what they say, every crook believes that they are the good guys. Why? We all have our reasons for our actions.

    Have you seen the amazing Musical “Les Misérables”? The story is about a man (Amongst many others) who was sentenced to prison for stealing a loaf of bread for his sister’s child, who was starving to death. If you watch the musical or read the book, you’ll learn that Valjean is a good man who did something “Bad” for a reason, which we could understand. However, as Inspector Javert stated, it’s against the law to commit such crime. For it, he has to pay. Doesn’t matter what reason you had, if you committed a crime, you pay for it.

    Moral issues are a tough one so we will not go into that lol I can talk A LOT about it XD

    What I really want to share with you, is this little insight to the fact that everyone single human being have a story to tell. Even you, are as fascinating as the many characters that Johnny Depp plays in his movies!

    We are all born and raised different. We all go through different life experiences and hence, have different expectations in things, different fear factor, tolerance, fashion sense, cultural ideas/lifestyle and even our taste buds tastes things different!

    There are several reasons to specific issues. Let’s look at ONE of such example to why people are “Racist”.

    Jake was seen playing with an Asian kid by his dad. His dad immediately dragged him home and gave him a good scolding and goes on to explain why he shouldn’t be playing with Asian kids because Asian people are sneaky and cunning people who only wants to make friends so that they can make use of them in life.

    Due to this little incident, Jake starts to become wary of Asians. Not just children, even the adults. As he progress in life, he might see that Asians aren’t as bad as how his father has depicted. However, there’s a chance that he meets ONE bad Asian guy, who perhaps is a mugger or basically a criminal, and his opinion or beliefs that was set by his father, is fixed into his mind, confirming the “Allegations”. From then on, Jake would believe that every Asians are potential criminals. Truth is, everyone is potentially a criminal lol! However, due to his past experience and his dad’s influence, he “Learned” that Asians possesses a higher rate of being criminals OR all Asians are actually secretly criminals just waiting to be let loose.

    We may be focusing on Jake now but the issue might have actually started from his father. What made him LEARNED that Asians are bad? Is it because of a bad experience with a dozen? Was he once betrayed by an Asian friend? Possibly. Sad thing is, he transferred that “Bad” perspectives to his son. Note that I use quotation on “Bad”. This is because to us, we see things objective and believe it’s bad BUT to them, it’s not bad. It’s actually a safety precaution to protect themselves. They just want to protect their own family’s well-being!

    Talk about a bad situation though. Someone being brought up believing a false reality to be true? His whole life was sort of a lie lol! But, whether Jake believes it or not, that is also entirely up to his maturity as well. As we know, because of our different upbringing (And perhaps even DNA, affecting our temperament), we all have different level of tolerance towards things in life (Patience etc).

    Just because you are mature enough to understand that everyone has their own perspectives in life and have the right to make their own decisions- That doesn’t mean others do too as you know all too well, I’m sure.

    Thus, be happy when we find those who are respectful and tolerant. Even better if they are genuinely nice and loving people! When we meet those who aren’t? Try to convert them lol! But of course, don’t push it if they do not believe in what we do as well. As we know now, they have their own reasons and story to why they are behaving and thinking the way they do.

    As a child raised in the jungle, Tarzan was taught the way of life in the wild. We can take him to our human civilization and teach him our ways but ultimately, he will forever be connected to the wild because of how he was raised. He learned to think about specific things different from how we’d do.

    We look at birds, we think “Aw sweet sweet nature”.
    Tarzan (Or any jungle man I guess) sees birds, they might think “Ah, dinner”

    Fun topic to talk about eh? XD
    Anywho, long post here. If you managed to read through the whole thing? Here’s a potato.

    POTATO 😀

    Your pal,
    Benjamin
    http://www.projectbiy.com
    http://www.prometheustechnologies.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for making the time to read my piece! Les Mis is one of my favorite musicals (I’m kind of a theatre nerd, so I really appreciate that analogy). I see your point and how some people are very intolerant due to circumstance or plain hatred and as much as I hate this as of now it seems to be a fact of life. I believe with all my heart we should fight for the fair treatment of others and everyone should be treated with kindness and respect, but we also must be prepared to teach others how to deal with hatred kindly instead of throwing fire at fire. My piece was to show that even if you are thrown every hardship in life, instead of letting it destroy you, let it bring you light. Thank you so much for reading!!

      -Abby

      Liked by 1 person

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