For 18 years we have been held in the facility. No outside influences. They tell us it is to keep our decision as pure as possible, but how are we supposed to make a decision that will decide the rest of our lives without hearing from the others who were forced to make the same choice. Whenever we want to see our parents, all interactions are monitored to make sure nothing out of sorts happens. Our whole life has led up to this moment, every class we’ve taken in school has been catered to inform us on the pros and cons of each side. I know everything a textbook can teach me about the decision, but a textbook cannot really explain what it’s going to be like.
I despise my grandparents everyday for being part of the generation that voted this awful test through. They called it “The New Society Project”, my grandparents and everyone that voted with them is insane. How can anyone expect an 18 year old to make a decision that will shape their life forever. I’m sure if I asked, 90% of people would be appalled at the idea of a decision from their youth shaping their whole entire future, with no way to change it. Ever.
I don’t understand how I am supposed to choose between security and the chance to do work I am passionate about. If I choose to take the council’s plan for my life, every step of my life will be planned, from where I live to what I eat. Nothing is your own when you choose their path, but you will have everything you will ever need. I’ll never go to bed hungry, or loose my job. I’ll be guaranteed a family, a husband, and a job that is useful to society, but I love things considered not needed for society to go on. I love art and music. I love creating, but if I choose to follow the council’s plan, I’ll never go to another concert. I’ll never be given the chance for my music to be heard outside my own home. I’ll be teaching my future children that it’s okay to not follow their dreams. I’ll be teaching them to play life safely. I will get rid of any risk in my life, therefor eliminating any excitement in life at all. I’m sure if I chose to follow their plan, I’d be happy in a different type of way. I think I would be content, but not fulfilled. Deep down I know what I have to do, but I’m so afraid to take the chance. One week away from the ceremony, and all I can think about is how I’m going to make the wrong decision and be trapped for the rest of my life.
If I choose to not follow them, I will be pushed out into the society outside the walls. Teachers have told us of this other society, created for the rebells. The council was afraid of war, so they gave the outsiders 50,000 dollars to buy supplies to start a new mini society, and the council built walls around their part of the land and made sure their was no way for the rebells to get back in.
Inside the walls, it is considered a great disgrace for your child to choose to leave the city. Parents loose all contact with their children, and never see them again. I love my mom and dad, but I know how ashamed they will be if I choose what my heart is longing for. I wish someone could make this decision for me. I basically have a choice between a life I can love, and a life with everything I have been brought up loving. Music, art, and passion vs family, security, and opportunity, how can I choose. The lights blink four times, the warning that it is 10 minutes till curfew. I get out of bed and walk across the hallway to the adult ward. I press in the code to let the guards know I would like to see my parents. He buzzes me in and I walk through the doors. I walk down to the eighth room on the left, my parents apartment. I stay for 5 minutes, tell them of my dilemma. They tell me if there even is a dilemma I obviously don’t love them or myself and kick me out.
TO BE CONTINUED