“Ok Elsie now that you have decided to continue on with the treatment we would like to fill you in on the process if that’s ok with you”
“Yes , of course, please I’m really still quite confused on how this all works.”
The woman talking to me is small in every way possible. She looks like quite frail, no more than 100 pounds, but it’s not just her looks that make her small. Her voice is quiet; she sounds so unconfident. I find it very strange that such an unconfident person could work at a place like this, dealing with lunatics all day.
She continues, ” So basically what we are going to do is hook up a few monitors to your head and arms that help us monitor your vitals and everything like that. Then we’re going to put you in the pod. It sounds a lot scarier than it is. Basically it looks like an MRI machine, but it filters your brain activity to help us see what’s happening in your brain. Of course you’ll be given the clarity fluid through your IV just so we can see a slightly more clear picture of what’s going on inside that brain of yours.”
I interrupt her, ” What kind of ‘clarity’ fluid? Is it safe?”
” We have done a few tests and it has never hurt anyone before, but since we have only tried this once before on you before you were lucid, we cannot guarantee that there are no risks involved. The worst that could happen is you fall back into your hallucinations and never come back, but without the treatment that is guarantee,” she says.
I take a deep breath before I speak again; this is so much to take in. ” Ok so basically my only option is to take the fluid?”
” For the best results, yes,” I hear the sympathy in her voice and it is killing me.
Reality hits me; I’m the crazy girl you read about in the papers.
” So when does the next round of treatment start? ” I ask.
“Right now if you’re ready, ” she says.
“This is as ready as I’m ever going to get.”