Sid the Doctor

In 1987 a place was created that men have tried to hide for ages. A place where only the most unforgettable would be taken in order to be hidden from the world. Here they could invade no one’s peace of mind. Only the strangest, most brilliantly disturbed men and women have been given the privilege of staying here. Their families usually wanted to erase any memory of them, or mysteriously no relatives could be found. Some have been held here since infancy, while others are a recent investment. It is my job to make sure we are benefitted by keeping them here; my name is Sid Gordon, and I am the doctor for the mad.

Everyday starts with the same events, consistency is key for people always trying to look outside the box. Lindy announces our mission statement over the intercom at 5:30 sharp every morning. This helps wake up the few residents of our lovely establishment who choose to sleep, but most importantly it reminds them all of why they are here. Lindy has a very calming, serene voice which is slightly contradictory considering that she works at a hidden institution for the mad in the middle of Georgia. She chants every morning “We the people realize that we are here for our own good, the doctor knows what is best for me, and he only wants to help. I should make no plans for the future, for the doctor is my future. Going against him is going against the will of god.” We encourage the patients to say it along with Lindy, but it’s hard to get crazy people to memorize a statement without them putting their own nasty spin on it. I know the mission statement might sound like a bit much, but I believe it is crucial that these people know that I am the best thing that has ever happened to them.

Our second task of the day is giving all of our patients our special mix of meds. We mix a strong anti depressant with just a smidge of my special mix (it’s a blend of a few ingredients that I really shouldn’t reveal for legal issues) to up their anxiety levels into our famous chocolate smoothies. I have thought about selling them; I’m sure they’d be a best seller! Highly addictive and makes you just a little jittery! Ah, I really am a genius. Well after the patients have taken their meds, It’s time to go to work. I try to cater each task to each person; the more we get out of them the better. Youna, who was known as the local crazy woman in her hometown in Minnesota, spends her days knitting while talking to her “special friends”. She makes sure that all of our patients feel well loved with their scratchy, uncomfortable, and most importantly ugly sweaters. I have found the best way to keep my patients on task and surrendered to me is to keep their self esteem low. People with low self esteem have been proven to question authority less and that’s what we are going for here. Our other helper Johno has a pretty severe case of OCD, so we let him take care of cleaning around here. Every porcelain white tile is so squeaky clean you can see your atrocious reflection in the floor. Of course there are others who are working extremely hard on accomplishing some very important work around the institution, including a few new projects I really should not discuss with you, but trust me you’ll be hearing about our advances in the near future.

After we all work for about 15 hours straight, its time for dinner! We all sit around our big round table and say something we enjoyed about our day. I start of course, and then usually it’s just a whole bunch of yelling until I get frustrated and end it. I only wish we could be like a family. A family would never scream over one another. A family would never scream over one another. A family would never scream over one another

“How long has he been like this?”

“We’re not exactly sure; he was dropped off by his social worker when he was 15. His personality disorder have been manifesting for years before he was finally brought here”

“That’s terrible, was he an orphan his whole life before coming here?”

“A family took him in once, the parents ended up getting a divorce and moving to separate states.”

“Wow, so this guy is really messed up.”

“In basic words, yes, he is really messed up. He goes through stages. Some months, he is ‘Sid the Doctor’, who you just met.

“What do you mean stages? Does he get worse than that?”

“Well, sometimes he is George the CEO, other times he is Susan the stay at home mom, and his worst one is definitely Gordon the vet.”

“It wouldn’t bring me any sadness to never meet his other personalities.”

“Yeah, it really shouldn’t. Are you going to continue your research on him?”

“Honestly I’m not sure. I’m not even a real doctor yet. Why can’t you just continue to study him?”

“I’ve done my time. I have no more time to spend on this maniac. But I urge you to try. He will be the ultimate test of your patience and strength.”

“What if he breaks me?”

“Then you will become one of him”



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